Monday, July 2, 2012

Very close friends

When now-hubby and I were first getting together (sit down, children, it's story time apparently), we met because we worked the same summer job during college. Funny side note: I was talking with the Mouseketeer this past weekend about how pretty much any story from this time period can be appropriately summarized by just saying, "it was college." As a clearer example, I was telling him about one of my better sexual experiences, involving pot, a trampoline, and blood. He asked for more details, and that's how the story started. "It was college...." Really, that should be the end of the story right there.

Anyway! Back on track with the choo-choo story train. In addition to now-hubby and myself there were at least 12 to 15 other people who were also working this same summer job. Since we all worked together during the day, we usually also all hung out together after hours as well. Also, college towns in the summer are decidedly empty, so there weren't really that many other people to be around anyway. Reference your willful girl blog textbooks where I've already discussed how I tend to relate to people on a sexual level. It's not that I do it as some sort of cover, or that I don't have anything else to talk about. You should see me at vanilla work Christmas parties. Decidedly demure. Business this and nuclear families that. It's quite shockingly ironic, actually. It just feels like a very natural progression for me with people. I think somebody is interesting - I get to know them a bit better - they turn out to be actually very interesting, and also funny/charming/adorable/insert very positive adjective here - we hang out as friends for a bit - I let them know a bit more about who I am - they don't run away in fear - eventually I will want to have sex with them. I want to make it clear, though, that this is also definitely not the same thing as, "oh, boys and girls can't be friends because eventually they're just going to want to fuck each other." In a way, it's sort of true because if I am friends with somebody and I've let them in and trust them enough, I will probably want to fuck them. However, there aren't the implied, "and then they'll be in wuv and together and it will ruin the friendship" aftereffects. Really, for me it's more of an, "I think you're an alright person and I like you. Maybe we should express that in a more sexual manner than we have previously."

In any case, back to the story. Me being who I am, and now-hubby being who he is, we sort of got together. I made it fairly explicit from the beginning, in the sense that, "We can date, but I am most likely going to fuck other people. I will tell you about it, we will have rules between the two of us that will make us sort of more 'exclusive,' but it's going to happen." This was awkward a few times with the whole mutual friends involvement, as those are some of the people I wound up fucking. I feel as though it's gotten less strange for now-hubby and I - where he has friends that I also sleep with. Of course, I'm just speaking for myself. I perceive it as being less weird. However, it's always something to negotiate, as I also always sort of tend to wind up with people that are in some way also similar to now-hubby (which is really just a more elegant way of saying I attract nerds). Is it okay for him to be friends with the people I fuck? Is it okay for me to fuck his friends? (In the former situation, the fucking happens first. In the latter, friendship first.) It's just another one of those awesome things in our relationship to talk about an consider.

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