Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Like riding a bike

Whenever I do my online domination thing, I sometimes get questions outside the sessions from people who find links and think I am somebody qualified to give advice about things. Call me the kinky Ann Landers, if you will. (For those on reddit, I've considered doing an AMA a few times, but never really thought there would be enough general interest for one.)

I recently got a message from a guy looking for sex advice. These are some of my favorite messages, because I get to reply in the most disappointing way possible. Which is to say, I shrug my shoulders and say, "I dunno, why don't you talk to the person you're with about it?" I tend to get baffled looks (figuratively speaking, of course, as the majority of these happen online - although I have had a few people ask me these type of sex advice questions in person, and then I do get the actual facial expression). It's as though I should somehow have the definitive answers when it comes to sexual prowess, and I don't really understand where that idea comes from.

To state it for the record, sometimes I have terrible sex. Mostly this happens with people I am just getting to know, and we're still figuring out how our bodies work together, what type of things we're both into, etc. etc. It's awkward and bumpy and weird. But sometimes even with somebody I've been fucking for awhile things just won't click, even if we're doing things we've done before and had some rocket large times to.

I have general tips and things; an arsenal of sexual acts if you will. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. And as with a lot of things in life, willingness to participate is half the battle. I tend to be really good at cunnilingus not because I have the best way to eat a woman out, but because I freaking love to do it and so I take it very seriously.

Sex generally is like riding a bike. A totally unpredictable, crazy transformer of a bike that is always changing and that you never quite adapt to.

No comments:

Post a Comment