Wednesday, September 26, 2012

For fuck's sake

Sometimes I will watch or read something for the pure reason that I know it will make my face go all like this.

It's not necessarily masochistic behavior, I tend to like to think about it more in the vein of "knowing thine enemy." It's also a healthy alternative to just sort of sputtering angrily at people in public when they decide to loudly discuss their views on the world (lady at the bar who was loudly discussing how Rihanna was asking to get beaten because she's into, "that BDSM stuff," I'm looking directly at you).

Tonight's example was Discovery's "The Science of Sex Appeal." which I had put specifically on our Netflix queue for those nights when I wanted to finish off some Shock Tops and just generally be angry about how sex has to be defined by two people's completely heteronormative ability to make babies.

I thought about doing a reaction gif play-by-play of this episode. For example, "the first time 'sexual economy' was brought up" and then post a reaction gif like this.

Then just do that for the whole episode. But then I realized that there might possibly not be enough reaction gifs indicating disgust, disbelief, or just general "what the fuck did they just say?"

So I'll leave with what's here already, and won't bore you with the details of how facial symmetry and smell and such are important, but not as important as how much money a man makes. Because, you know, ladies be all unable to navigate the "dangerous waters" of sex (an actual phrase from the show. I almost did a spit take

but also thought of salsa shark, because that's where my mind goes when left unattended),

without having access to a guy's bank statement.

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