Friday, September 21, 2012

Getting there

This morning a little thread popped up on Reddit sex about whether or not sex can be enjoyable for women if they don't orgasm.

Firstly, the definitive use of the word "sex." If I had to guess, OP is talking specifically about p-in-the-v intercourse. I'll insert (hehe insert) the obligatory stats about how something like 15% of women orgasm from p-in-the-v intercourse, while 85% can orgasm during masturbation. (Side note: I don't like using phrases like "only 15%," because that makes it sound somehow dysfunctional or sad, instead of just a freaking number, which is what it is.) I think it carries a bit through the thread where "sex" doesn't mean the amazing variety of things that can happen when people get together, and is more closely aligned with "when a man puts his penis in a woman's vagina" version of sex, which is disappointing.

Secondly, the top comments being all about, "sex is like a day at the amusement park. Cumming is like going to the amusement park and also getting your favorite food!" sort of depresses me. It's kind of indicative that women should just be happy with what they're getting. That even if they know how to get themselves off, they somehow shouldn't ask for it, or advocate for themselves to get it. They should just sort of enjoy the other nice things that are happening and be quiet. Maybe it's the primalist in me, but that's bullshit. To take the metaphor too far, I understand if you go the amusement park and only have enough money to get in the gate, so you just sort of browse the attractions and enjoy the smell of your favorite food. But if you freaking have enough money for your favorite food at the amusement park and you want a taste, why should you have to sit there like, "oh well, it was fun just to be here I guess." Also, it's sort of shitty if you've voiced your desire for your favorite food, and the person you're with gets to buy their favorite food and eats it in front of you the entire time being all, "gee, we have enough money to get you your favorite food too, but I don't really know if I want to walk all the way back to the area where your favorite food was."

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