I went to the gynecologist last week for my annual check-up and also to get myself tested for common STDs like gonnorhea and chlamydia. I get tested for HIV every 6 months at Planned Parenthood because my gynecologist doesn't do that but I still feel like it's an important test to have. Because I have sex with multiple people, I feel like I should do the responsible adult thing and get myself regularly tested for contagious diseases of the genital variety.
Also because I am a responsible adult who knows she doesn't want babies with any of the multiple people I have sex with, I use various methods of birth control. Most commonly condoms, but I also have the IUD. So far success.
Anyway, despite all of these smart adult choices, my gynecologist informed me today that I had an abnormal pap smear result. Also, that I have bacterial vaginosis (award for most disgusting sounding term for what essentially amounts to a yeast infection goes to). Which, I did a bit of research and apparently both of these are fairly common things for women who have an IUD and multiple sexual partners (i.e. myself).
I've had the abnormal pap smear thing last year, and it amounted to just monitoring my cervical cells with 6 month pap smears instead of the regular 12 month intervals. This latest pap smear was actually the one that, if normal, would have put me back on the 12 month schedule. So there's that to be angry about, if nothing else. An abnormal result means I have to go back in for a colposcopy (read: they're going to stick a pair of scissors into my vagina and cut off a piece of my cervix for further testing - it hurts like hell to get done), and then resume the 6 month pap smear schedule.
The BV means I get seven days of medication, which of course is in a fucking ointment tube which says "VAGINAL CREAM" in possibly the biggest and boldest letters I've ever seen. It also involves insertion tubes and other completely inconvenient and disgusting things.
None of this is transmittable. Frisbee and Now-hubby have absolutely nothing to worry about. This just involves my vagina being completely stupid despite the fact that I'm trying to make as responsible decisions as I can.
The long and the short of the entire process is that it's incredibly frustrating. I actually found several websites that advised not giving an IUD to women who weren't in "stable" monogamous relationships, because these are things that can happen. Which begs the question of what exactly the fuck they mean by a "stable" relationship? Apparently having fluid-bonded sex with two gentlemen on average 3 times a week (for each, so 6 times total), counts as not being "stable." And therefore means I'm more susceptible to my cervix cells going wonky and also general yeast infection stuff. It has a lot to do with the IUD having little strings that hang down just below the cervix, so any extra "gunk" as it were can get stuck in there. But it also seriously warrants consideration of how infrequently practitioners think women with an IUD are having sex. To me, "stable" equals "stagnant." Either a woman's had a baby already with her significant monogamous partner and wants to wait a bit for the next one. Or she's putting the lid on having any children at all. Which, when people base their entire relationship on steps (i.e. dating, marriage, children) and finally reach step 3, the entire point is fucking like they did in step 1, only with procreation in mind. Something like the IUD feels like a fucking road block to both functionality and desire. In my head, standard narrative couples slash "stable" couples would actually fuck less when an IUD is introduced in step 3.
So...I'm trying my best to be responsible and make informed decisions when it comes to my sexual lifestyle. I'm trying to avoid diseases and babies, and I feel like I'm being punished for it. Fuck this cheese.