The point of reflection comes in at steps two and three in the "alternate 'date'" process. (Step one: collect underpants. Step three: profit!) Let's say I'm out with somebody, and step two (possibly have a good time) is not going as well as it could be. I won't get Alanis with my 21 things right now,
but let's just say there are a few missing points. In the past, I have usually gone with the Underpants Gnomes way to deal with this and skipped straight to step 3.
More recently, I've come to realize that I can be sex positive and slutty yet also not have to fuck somebody just because we've gotten past step one and step two. From experience, if step two is a struggle, step three is not really enjoyable anyway. But I don't have to keep going to step three just because that's sort of the premise of the "date" to begin with. It's an interesting thing to realize.