One of the most awesome things about growing up and being treated like an inconvenience (here I am using "awesome" in it's lesser known definition: "completely shitty") is getting to adult life and having to at some point admit that you should be allowed to ask for things that are important for you without having to obsess about whether people are secretly wishing for "easier," since that's what you were directly told fairly frequently growing up.
When I was first getting together with now-hubby (I feel like he needs some sort of fancy nickname here, he can't manage to come up with something original, so maybe I'll just call him "nh," and then he'll be one letter away from NPH as well), it was a fairly difficult issue to have to constantly consolidate that he actually wanted to be with me. Not because I think I'm not interesting, sexy, etc. whatever. Just because dating somebody who is not in a poly mindset would be somehow easier, and wouldn't everybody want that?
In the end, as with poly relationships themselves, you have to begin to let go a bit of the emotional control and focus instead on the physical things that you can change. Of course, the two tie in fantastically well and sometimes blur until you're not sure really which one you are really reacting to.
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