Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Comedic timing

The intrepid Girls With Slingshots recently had a sidebar link to this little gem: Go Get a Roomie

I've started at the beginning in the archives, and this one sort of popped out at me. It's very similar to discussions I get in with people sometimes. Both about the idea that I have a husband as well as also date/have sex with other people (and that he does as well), but use terminology that others also use. I think it's interesting that there's the idea out there that poly somehow has to necessitate an entire other language just in order to be possible. You can't call going out to dinner with somebody who is not your husband a "date," because "date" already has a gender and sexual-role specific definition that doesn't fit that.

Also the idea that since I'm open, I must want to sleep with everybody. This, for me, is a similar mindset to the one that existed for the other women on my dorm floor in college. You know, the ones who would pull their towels tighter around them if I happened to come into the floor bathroom to shower, or the ones who actually told me they couldn't be friends with me because, "they didn't want me to get the wrong idea." (I believe said idea had a lot to do with another great straight people/monogamy myth in that you can't possibly be friends with somebody of the opposite gender, because at some point you are almost always going to want to touch genitals with them.)

The second idea is more interesting for me. The language thing, that's just a matter of semantics. For an outside example, let's say I have a navy blue shirt. Somebody else has a periwinkle blue shirt. (Side note: I Googled "periwinkle" just for shits and the dictionary definition says, "another term for WINKLE." snrk) Both shirts are technically "blue," but just different versions of the same color. The second idea comes down to intentions and actions, which are more difficult to hold up to somebody's face and say, "see? These are both still blue." The issue comes about in that I am sort of a sexual person. I relate to others in a sexual manner, and it feels comfortable for me. Does that mean I touch genitals with everybody that I meet? Not necessarily. But it's a more difficult color blue to explain for those who don't know it.

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