A question comes up sometimes when discussing my little open marriage. (I like to imagine that as some sort of children's show. Also, this past weekend I got an opportunity to answer a question honestly by talking about MLOM, and not a single person had any questions. Not one! Just, "that's very neat." And then the conversation moved on. It was fantastic.) That question is how I feel about now-hubby having other partners. This is more complex than the, "do you get jealous?" question, as it asks about my feelings in general, not the presence or non-presence of one emotion in particular.
What it's boiled down to after several years of working at it is appreciation. It sounds weird to those of the monogamous mindset, but I actually feel more loved by now-hubby when he finds other partners. This is because, when I can talk myself past the, "her boobs are bigger than mine, she has better skin than me, she's taller/shorter/etc/etc" bullshit physical comparisons, the majority of women that now-hubby tends to be attracted to are similar to me in non-physical attributes. I want to be very clear that I'm speaking primarily about the people now-hubby chooses to spend time with outside of fucking. It's nice to know that he's consistent in the type of people he likes to spend his time with.
If I went purely on physical attraction, I'd be spending a lot of time with Tom Delonge from 10 years ago. (Figuring out that number made me feel extremely old.)
Or Cillian Murphy from Batman Begins.
Or Shannyn Sossamon at any point.
Which, I mean, would be fun and all. And incredibly panty-moistening.