When somebody gets into kink, it's helpful to have preferences and limits. i.e Things that you are definitely into, things you are willing to try (soft limits), and things that you aren't even interested in exploring (hard limits). These vary depending on whether you're defining them as a top or a bottom. (Just as examples, my "intos" as a top include biting and flogging. As a bottom I like choking and impact play.)
When somebody is not necessarily into kink, there are still things that inspire boners and those that don't.
In either scenario (kink or vanilla-based sex), there is very little that kills my boner faster that talking dirty. Either giving or receiving. If you feel the need to describe and or hear about my "my hot little pussy" or how good your "rock hard dick" feels going into it, there's going to be very little more of that going on.
I'm not saying negotiations beforehand aren't important. Being able to communicate clearly about sex and your expectations thereof is something everybody should have to do. But once I've told you what I want, please do not narrate it for me as it's happening.