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Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Self-aware

This past weekend Frisbee and I went to a birthday party. One of the other people that play frisbee was turning a fairly significant age. I'll leave it up to you to guess which number.


After the party had been going on for a few hours, I found myself hanging out with one of the frisbee folks that I find fairly attractive. For the sake of clarity, I'll call him Newcastle. So I was hanging out with Newcastle, and we decided to go outside where some of the other frisbee people were playing a game in the parking lot. On the way outside, I put my arm around him and asked if it was okay. I told him all the reasons that I think he's a pretty cool dude.


When we were heading back inside later, I was holding his hand. When we were almost back to the front door of the hotel, he stopped me and told me all the things he liked about me.


Which was pretty much everything, except for the fact that I'm married. I asked if it was because he didn't believe me when I said Now-hubby is okay with me flirting, etc. with other people. Newcastle said it's just not who he is - that he likes to go on "dinner and a movie" type dates, and be exclusive. I asked if it was because he actually didn't find me attractive and was just trying to let me down without hurting my feelings. He said I'm pretty much, "his perfect girl."

Then he asked if I wanted to kiss him.


Which I did. Up against the wall of the hotel. For at least the next five minutes. It was phenomenal. We eventually stopped because the whole me being married thing was "too much" for him to get over. These are the frustrating ones. The potential good things that I have to let go because there's a fundamental difference in the way the other person approaches and thinks about things. There's definite interest on both sides, but it just doesn't work. No matter how much I reassure and communicate and answer all the questions honestly.


 The super frustrating part came once we were back inside and he said, "Seriously, though. Where are the girls like you?" And I just wanted to scream. I am a girl like me. And I'm right here.


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