Thursday, October 4, 2012

We go together like rama lama lama

I got a request yesterday for a session from a man in a relationship. By his account, a very unhappy and sexually frustrating one. tldr: his gf is a fundie Christian who wants to save it for marriage, he's incredibly horny all the time. His words, not mine: "I don't know why I got myself into this situation."

I encounter this every so often with men I know. They're completely unhappy in their relationships for one reason or another (not always a problem with sexytime), and for some reason seem completely confused as to how they've wound up in their specific predicament.

At which point I usually wind up rolling my eyes at them as if to say, "I fucking told you so."

For some reason the men I know are much more vocal about it all, "why me?"

The ladies I know are more the kind to silently sit next to their douche bag husbands at weddings and try to maintain a smile. Which is sadder, in a way, but doesn't stop me from being judgmental about it all the same. It just doesn't make any sense if people are so completely, that's a rant for another entry.

In the land of dating other people, I also sometimes run into this. I once had a woman laying naked in bed with me (post sexytime) and bust out with, "I was only allowed to do this because my girlfriend cheated on me, so she said I could cheat on her once." I used to struggle internally with whether I was going to sleep with people who were in otherwise monogamous relationships. I'd reject messages from people online who mentioned their girlfriends or wives. Like most things in my little head space, I thought a lot about it. What was the justification for the rejection? What bothered me the most about these other people being in a relationship that they weren't completely honest in?

Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that I can't be 100% sure in every encounter with someone else that they're not in some sort of monogamous relationship thing that they're lying about. So it wasn't really fair to discount the ones who were at least being honest about lying. In a parallel universe, this would be the epitome of that grade school saying about two wrongs not making a right. In my universe, it equates to some sarcastic bit about not wanting to be right in the first place.

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