Monday, February 25, 2013

Clock is ticking

Since Now-hubby and I are getting to a certain age (read: late 20s), people find it their business to occasionally ask us about our plans to have a baby. Because, you know, we've been married for a few years and baby is like...the next step on the "things to do" life list.

There are a few tropes in society that fucking irritate me, and the top 3 are:

1. Having sex with a person = immediate love. Also that you must somehow try to make things "serious" between the two of you now.

2. Women and men are completely separate species and entirely unable to ever understand each other or communicate in any meaningful way.

3. Children are annoying and a lot of work, but "worth it" in some grander scheme.

For the last one, it's always the "worth it" part that gets to me. I went thrift shopping at Goodwill this past Friday (made out like a rock star - two pairs of jeans, one awesome skirt, a fun summer-type dress, and finally a proper LBD to wear to "fancy" events), and while I was waiting for a check-out lane to open, watched a child climb over the check-out counter behind the register until one of the Goodwill employees had to say something about the kid not being allowed back there. Meanwhile Mom is all:

There are people that I used to know who had exciting things to talk about. Now they have a child and talking to them is like talking to a zombie. Number one they're too freaking tired from meeting every stupid need of their kid to have any time for thought about themselves. So number two whenever they do have a chance to open their mouths for any other purpose but correcting and guiding their child's development, it's all they want to talk about even with other adults.

Every once in awhile I'll trick myself into thinking I want a baby. I'll see something like this and be all, "yeah, that wouldn't be so bad."

And then I have to work very hard to remind myself that the video was taken in one minute in the life of those babies, the rest of which probably looks more like this:

Now-hubby compared having a baby to owning a really unreliable cell phone, which is a lot nicer than the analogy I usually use when I talk about having children (which is willingly entering into an abusive relationship). I just...anything that sucks that amount of time and energy out of your life without any sort of reliable outcome wasn't "worth it."

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