Saturday, January 5, 2013

Shrinking Violet

So, Frisbee and I went out to dinner yesterday and I got this drink thing where the rim of the glass had been lined with strawberry Pop Rocks. It was pretty cool, and also came with another little shot glass of Pop Rocks which the waiter person advised me I could put in the drink if I wanted, but to be careful about it because the last time he did that the drink sort of exploded and got all over people. So, with that in mind I was a bit trepidatious about putting the extra Pop Rocks into the drink. The waiter person came back and told me to "man up" about it.

I'm generally not a person who fights the use of language. The German and I talked a little bit about this, the idea behind actual word etymology and the way that some people have taken words out of context so they can be offended by them. One of my favorite examples is the idea from some people that I can't use the word "straight" when giving directions, because "straight" implies "heterosexual" and is therefore heteronormative. I'm supposed to say "forward" instead. That's total bullshit. For some reason, though, the idea that I was supposed to "man up" about the Pop Rocks kind of pissed me off. And ultimately led to me brainstorming ways that I could be even more hardcore with the Pop Rocks than waiter person had ever even considered. Pouring them out onto the table, cutting lines and then snorting them? A definite possibility.

I found this decent article on the origin of the phrase "man up." And then this little piece on how it sort of sucks that there's not a female equivalent for the phrase. Although "man" is another word that I fight on usage with people because the etymology behind it is tricky, in this instance I feel like the meaning is strictly "man" as in "one with a penis." Which, I don't need a penis in order to throw a shot glass of Pop Rocks into an alcoholic drink. Even if addressed to men - i.e. if for some reason Frisbee had the drink with Pop Rocks and the waiter person had told him to "man up" about it, the shitty gender implication is still there.

I never really did understand the whole concept behind women supposed to be these meek and unassuming individuals while men got to do awesome things like throw shot glasses of Pop Rocks into their drinks. Even before I was doing the whole Mistress thing, I was a fairly outspoken lady. I didn't really ascribe to the shoulds about how I was supposed to act. I mean, in regards to general social niceties, sure. But in regards to, "oh, you shouldn't do that/like that/think that way because you're a lady?" That's crap.

To illustrate: Now-hubby and I were watching Freaks and Geeks recently, and there's this episode where the kids are going out to buy fake IDs. To those of you who have never seen the show, the only context you need for the rest of this rant is that Lindsay and Nick are two characters who are dating. They go to get fake IDs, and the guy making them starts hitting on Lindsay. She says no thanks, and the fake ID guy persists. Which then Nick steps in all, "hey, man, that's my girlfriend." Which...why isn't it the fake ID guy getting called out for his shitty behavior? The general social nicety thing where a person's said no and you should respect that and back the fuck off. Instead Lindsay's getting protected like she can't handle her own business? It reinforces the power balance that somehow she's lesser than either other person in the scene just because she's a woman. The fake ID guy ignores the fact that she's clearly indicated disinterest in his advances, and then Nick steps in and instead of being like, "hey bro that's a crappy way to treat somebody" goes for the, "respect her because I have some form of social ownership of her"?

Anyway. I'll leave you all with this amusing and semi-related fantastic gif set. And since the James Deen dildo is fast becoming boyfriend thing number 4 (seriously, the orgasms I have with that thing are off the fucking charts), and since Cracked is pretty funny sometimes, also this.

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