Tuesday, January 31, 2012

"Special massage" my ass

In lieu of the upcoming holiday that I shall not acknowledge, Adam and Eve dot com (really an alright place, when it comes down to it), has been running some radio ads recently about a special deal they have going on. 50% off "some" orders, plus special gifts! Ooooo

This is where it gets me. The special gifts are, "A toy for him, a 'special massager' for her, and a free video." Now, we've already discussed how much I dislike heteronormitivity (shut it spell check, I want that to be a word and so it shall be), yes? There's that. The fact that the incentive offer is specifically geared toward heterosexual couples. As though no other type of people in the universe might be taking advantage of this deal to maybe get...50% off a butt plug, or 50% of a feeldo (although I doubt that's part of the "some" sales), or 50% off anything that doesn't probably have pink faux fur on it or feathers of some variety. Or that any other type of person might want to spice up the upcoming holiday that I still won't mention by name.

It's the "special massager" part. In today's day and age, can we really not say the word, "vibrator" on the radio? (I'm actually genuinely curious, so I Googled it, and apparently FCC regulations are fairly discretionary, and there's no actual list of words one can not say (sorry, Carlin fans.)) Being into kink, I'm a big fan of "pevertables" (i.e. everyday objects that you can use in kinky ways, such as fly swatters/spanking paddles, wiffle balls/ball gags, or dowel rods/spreader bars), so I understand that a "special massager" might actually be something a woman would put on her vulva/clitoris/actually insert into her vagina/anus. (Oh, inclusivity. Feels so good!) But it's genuinely irksome the way that Adam and Eve, a freaking adult toy store/porn selling website, has to use the term like "tee-hee! It's 'special' because you're going to put it on your no-no place."

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