The "gay" thing

Before we begin, since labels are important to some people, let it be known that I identify as queer for all intents and purposes (one of those "the word doesn't quite fit, but it's there, so I'll use it" sort of thing).

Recently some friends from college visited and we got on the topic of "recruitment," or the idea that scary sexual predators go out into the world and "create" gay people. Also the idea that gayness is somehow something that you can "catch" or "become." I made the joke that a few weekends ago I went to the mall and sneezed and suddenly man-on-man blowjobs just occurred spontaneously all around me. Well, we don't know. Some of those men might have been only bi-curious. Maybe I wasn't carrying the full-on gay bug at that point.

Which brought to mind another one of my favorite arguments to get into with straight people. How "sexualized" Pride parades are. This usually centers around the leather Daddies, or any of the various sparkly men in hot pants. For a little grammatical side argument, I dislike people who use the word "but" as a conjunction unless they are using it in agreement, i.e. "I like chocolate, but peanut butter is also awesome." So whenever somebody says, "I support gay people, but..." I usually just wind up telling them that they either do or they do not. It's the same as saying, "I don't mean to be a bitch, but..." Then don't be a bitch! Just don't say whatever it is you're about to say. Or say it anyway, but don't try to qualify it beforehand like you are little Susie Sweetheart. So when you have to put that conjunction on the end of your sentence, you either support them/us/me/whoever, or you don't.

Anyway. My argument. Pride. Fantastic time of the year. Parades, music, community, etc. That includes all the semi-naked people that are out and about. My main point about Pride is it is one day (well, sometimes a weekend) where we can get out and about and actually express this sexuality. Yes, being gay is about more than just sex. (Speaking of, I threw my shoulder out a few days ago, which you would think my overwhelming lust for other women's vaginas would be able to overcome. Not so. There is life to being gay besides the sex, Virginia.) But being gay is also about the majority of the time not expressing that sexuality. And not seeing that sexuality expressed, or really even ever spoken positively about. So yes, maybe sometimes we go a bit over the top during Pride. Maybe we explode all the glitter and put on all the hot pants and dance to all the techno music. It's only so that come Monday we can go back into our humdrum little lives and continue to tell people about our "roommates" and want to stab our eyes out that the straight people we work around can describe their sexual escapades without anybody having stupid questions about it.