Thursday, December 24, 2015

Over the River and Through the Woods

Three freaking years of this blog, dear readers. Such exciting things have been covered in the course of that time.

And that's just what makes it to the end of my fingers and into the blog. There's been plenty that's run through my head or great discussions Now-hubby and I have gotten into that never make it here. 

I've also fallen into a bit of a "normalcy" lull. This happens every so often. I'm not actually getting more "normal." I'm still catching just as much dick as I usually do; going to as many parties where a good majority of the people are in some stage of undress; still taking and sending a bunch of nudes. I just haven't been spending as much time in straight world lately. All of the things I do on the reg don't seem as exceptional when I'm not periodically comparing them with a society that encourages me to extend sexual favors only when I'm presented with something shiny and expensive.

(Side note: I used to have a shirt that had that tagline on it. I miss that shirt.)

I'm living the kind of life recently where people at work recognize my "date bag" and ask for details about what my plans are for the evening. (I have a specific bag I pack when I'm going straight from work to a date. One that's big enough for a change of clothes and possibly a few accessories, but nothing too cumbersome that I can't just chuck it in the closet in the classroom.) When I randomly booty call a guy I play frisbee with to come over for a back rub and blow job, Frisbee pats me on the head and says, "I met you at a gang bang. Go have fun." When I text Now-hubby that said gentleman is leaving so I'm putting the bed sheets through the wash, he sends me a Spongebob gif and tells me, "get it, girl." (I think Now-hubby was out with a lady friend that evening.) I've got some type of sexy party scheduled every weekend January 2016. 

I mean, I have also been catching up on the latest season of America's Next Top Model. So I'm staying versed with those who like to use the word "relationship" to describe "the best possible option in my immediate vicinity." 

Oh, and "what do you mean this person I'm in a 'relationship' with has to pretend to be attracted to another person for purposes of an ad campaign? That's not okay! They can only pretend to be attracted to me because I told the confessional booth that they were cute and that means it's serious!!!" You keep doing you, straight people. 

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