Sunday, August 3, 2014

Fantasy Fullfilment

I've had a very full schedule these past few days, sexually speaking.

On Wednesday I had a sex dream. Which, believe it or not, are not as common as occurrence for me as one might think. This one's focus was me having a penis and basically doing pushups over somebody while I also had my penis inside them. It was one of those dreams where it was incredibly sexy when it was happening (and I woke up incredibly wet from it), but now typing it out makes it sound more weird than sexually arousing.

On Friday an incredible couple invited me along to a sex party with them. This party is the fifth "variety" that I've checked out. For those who are curious, here are the classifications that I'm using:

1. Swinger parties.
2. The Gang Bangs.
3. "Let's get all our poly friends together, watch some TV or play board games, and then have sex with each other" parties.
4. Dungeon parties.
5. The party Friday night, which I guess I'll qualify as "cuddle-party plus" (or CPP for the duration of this entry).

For those of you are unfamiliar with what a cuddle party is, I'll refer you to their website for ease of explanation. The party Friday was run in a similar fashion to a cuddle party, only with the option of nudity and sexual intercourse if people felt like those things.

Also, I'd just like to point out that the logo for cuddle parties reminds me of something I should be paying three easy payments of $19.95 for.

It's nothing against the parties themselves, it's just a text-based assumption. Sort of how one can tell that a romantic comedy is going to be absolute tripe based just on the text style from the movie poster. Looking at the logo for cuddle parties, I feel like I should be bringing my glow in the dark magic sand or something.

The actual party was very similar to others I have been to. There was a fairly interesting mix of people, and a moderately interesting mix of activities that people became engaged in once the party got underway. The experience overall of the CPP, though, wasn't really my thing. One of the worst moments definitely being when the hosts' 4 year-old son came walking downstairs after the party had been in "go" mode for at least an hour.

There were other moments in the evening that didn't really pique my metaphysical boner, but the time-out for the toddler definitely ranks up there as one of the bigger boner killers.

As far as general party atmosphere, there wound up to be a specific quality of sex parties that I'd like to ruminate on here. To be clear, this is not one of my standard "why the fuck do things work this way" rants. It's just observational notes on a particular aspect I've noticed when I go to parties:
  • Sex-party Monogamy. 
I've noticed this at all 5 party classifications listed above. There's a very big difference between being "single" and being "in a relationship," and I think it's incredibly weird (especially in otherwise sex-positive environments), to have to differentiate things based on whether there's a more serious form of commitment between people. General relationship rules = okay. Going into a situation as a couple and basing all other interactions on that established relationship = thumbs down. I'm slightly biased here because I started out as single and poly. I played by myself before I got involved with either Now-hubby or Frisbee, and we tend to play as individuals now. There are considerations because of the fluid-bonded nature of our relationship, but beyond that there's no expectation or obligation that we date and/or play as a unit.

It's also very interesting for me to notice the pairings that happen at things like the CPP. People who are playing as a single but will wind up "together" with one or more others for the duration of a 4 hour party. Two people or a group of people will set themselves up at the beginning of the party, and then continue to do the entire rest of the party together. They'll set up a little closed-off community, only playing with each other and hanging together even during snack/drink breaks.

Or those who want to make actual relationship connections. This makes me feel a bit of a hypocrite, because I did meet Frisbee at a gang bang. If I can elucidate, it's about intent. The sort of unnatural progression of: We've just met this evening for the first time. We touched each other's genitals and that felt pretty good. Now we should set something up so we can contact each other more frequently and get this thing off to a more "official" start. There's also, in my experience, a very clear expectation from the majority of the gentleman who come asking for contact info after I've touched their penises. That expectation being once we've set things up "officially," I won't go to sex parties anymore. Or that I will but as part of a proper couple from now on.

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