For the past three months, I've been working "on staff" at the parties instead of actually participating (i.e. fucking) at them. I've realized a few things. Mostly that I am complete shit at being a voyeur. I can only watch other people have sex for about...3 minutes before I start busting out in laughter and need to leave. I don't know what it is exactly, but something about the way people's bodies move, the type of faces they make...it's just hilarious to watch. It doesn't really turn me on in the slightest. However, hearing other people have sex is totally hot and awesome for me. Go fig.
I've also realized the complete and utter variability of human sex. I understood this a bit when I was participating at the parties. With thirty guys, there was a lot of variance in cock size, general stamina, etc. I understood variability also because I like talking with people about sex in general. I like asking questions about preferences and kinks. Everybody is different, and it's fascinating. With being an observer at the parties, I get to see exactly how different every person is when it comes to sex. The way they orgasm, the faces they make while they're fucking, the motions their bodies go through.
With so much available in one concentrated place like the gang bang, I get an interesting cross-section of what people are into. And the reassuring thing is that there's something out there for everybody. I say "something" instead of "someone" because fuck the noise about one true love. But it's possible to find at least one person in this world who will be into that thing you like. There was a woman at the party tonight who was a pretty significant squirter (gusher would be a more appropriate term), and for every guy who made an "ick" face when it happened, there was another guy who was grinning ear to ear. The parties have consistently reinforced for me how incredibly amazing it is to stay open to possibilities.
Ani Difranco reference. #caughtyou
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