Sunday, March 31, 2013


The German went back home today, and a little part of my heart broke off and went with him. It hurts like a bitch, but I know it will eventually get better. I legitimately sobbed at the airport; once I got back in my car and he wasn't there; also when I got back home and opened up the guest room and the entire place smelled like him. I did that cliche thing where I just laid down on the bed and buried myself in all the blankets and cried until my nose was too stuffed up to smell him anymore.

Since I'll likely be asleep by the time his plane lands back in the homeland, I'm leaving this here now.

For the German

I love the completely random way that we met - the weird chance of all of it. The probability that I would have seen that original post on /r/bdsmcommunity, participated, and then been asked to help out from a moderation standpoint. The probability that you would have then messaged me and asked for a session. I like to play "what if" games a lot with the people who are important to me, and yours is always the most intriguing, because if it hadn't happened exactly in the "what if" way that it did, we wouldn't have ever met. And you're a fantastic person to have met. I love how even though you're the farthest away from me, I felt instantly connected to you. I love how indescribably adorable you are, and how it's difficult for me to be around you and not be smiling. I love how incredibly gentle you are, and I always feel like you're paying painstaking attention to whether something is making me feel good or not. I love that even though I don't get to see you often, the times that I do are utterly fantastic.

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