Tuesday, February 16, 2016

The one where I go see Deadpool

Neither of the boys were particularly interested in going, and I had the day off work today. So I spent my afternoon getting stoned and taking myself out to see Deadpool.

Overall, fucking hilarious. Credit sequence was great, there were a lot of 4th-wall breaks, and Ryan Renolds manages to be glib with rarely getting into that, "omg we get it you have a come-back for everything" type characters. It's anti-hero without being tragic.

Stan Lee has the best cameo I've seen yet.

(Apologies to the guy in front of me who missed the cameo because his girlfriend covered his eyes during the strip club scene. Shame on you, lady. There's relationship paranoia, and then there's the certain brand of crazy that type of behavior indicates.)

Being the type of person I am, though, I gotta roll my eyes at the romance story-line.

Possible spoilers ahead, readers.

So Deadpool before he becomes Deadpool (aka Wade Wilson) is hanging out at this bar for vigilante killers I guess. The bartender is hilarious. TJ Miller. Seriously. That guy did not get enough screen time. There's this short-haired hottie hanging around, and she's all, "hey why don't you come have sex with me PS it costs money because I'm a prostitute." They joke, they banter. (Yes, he makes the joke about "what are we gonna do with the rest of the long amount of time because I'm going to jizz in like 30 seconds into this.") Turns out he's fucking great in the sack, and they're now going to do an amusing montage of the two of them in all sorts of great positions and situations throughout the next calendar year. Until he pulls a Ring Pop out of his ass (no, seriously) on Christmas and is like, "this is the best vag I've slain in my whole life how's about we get married?"

So, yes. That's all hilarious. The sheer amount of sexual situations during the montage is pretty impressive.

There's just one problem. There's no indication during the montage that the girl is still a ho. Like, yeah, she's doing all sorts of crazy stuff...but it's just with Wade. 

This might just be me, too, but I get the impression Wade Wilson is the kind of guy that wouldn't really mind being in a type of open relationship.

Anyway. After Wade gets all radioactive and uglified, he's convinced his super hot GF will not want to be with him anymore. The typical, "this relationship is too perfect and something bad is happening so I'll leave to protect you" bullshit mixed with a healthy dose of, "nobody can be in love with somebody that isn't a perfect physical Adonis." 

He finally turns up at this strip club she's working at now because it's almost the end of the movie and the baddies are after GF. It would have been really nice to have some indication before this point that she was back to sex work. The way it's presented, this is another place holder until she can find the "one and only" dick again. 

After a decent baddie-fight scene, turns out GF is cool with the way he looks now. That banter from earlier even comes back to re-establish the relationship after she slaps him in the face a bunch. You know, because that's their thing. In case you hadn't figured that out. Because banter is all they do (well, and have really great, kinky sex). You know how ho's be. She spends so much time catching dick, it's hard to have any other hobbies. All she has time for otherwise is cultivating the skill of appreciating literally everything that guys like. (omg a hot chick that can reference Star Wars? Spooge.)

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