The kids are alright

In the course of working at a high school, I overhear some fairly ridiculous conversations between teenagers in regards to sex. Either he types of experiences they've already had, or the types of experiences they're hoping to have eventually.

These conversations, however, are slightly less disappointing for me to overhear than when I'm with other adults who, for all intents and purposes, should have a better range of sexual experiences or at least hopefully more realistic sexual goals. Which is not to say that somebody shouldn't dream big when it comes to sexual fantasies (heuheu dream big), just that I'd hope with time people would realize the actual amount of effort involved in making a fantasy a reality.

In any case, I'm an advocate for education about sex. A friend of mine linked to this article earlier today. Although I think it's interesting that the author seems to think 4th grade is too early to start sex ed. That was specifically the time when my elementary school took all the girls (and our mothers, if they were around) into the gymnasium so we could watch a special film about how we girls were going to start bleeding every month and growing hair in our armpits and crotches. Then we were handed a little brochure and a free sample menstrual pad and sent on our merry way to womanhood. Actual sex ed (the talk about how it's okay to say "no," and having to watch the video of a live birth because if anything was going to scare us into safe sex the image of a baby crowning was definitely what we needed to see) happened...6th, 7th grade? I know it was at middle school at some point. 

Moving on up

Things have been hectic here IRL.

Now-hubby celebrated his birthday this past week. We went out for dinner - filet mingnon and lobster. On the way out of the restaurant, we joked about an incredibly creepy McDonald's window that had giant faces on it. "Could you imagine being fucked up and pulling up to that thinking it was the drive-thru window?" These are the kind of conversations in our 11 years together that fill my heart and make me look forward to all the future years I'm going to have with him. It seems really inconsequential, but just the way the two of us can have similar thoughts about a McDonald's window is amazing to me.

After a few things sort of coming together all at once, Frisbee is moving into the house with Now-hubby and I. Which means I've also been quite busy trying to re-arrange the house so Frisbee will have a place to be. I'm trying desperately not to over-think or over-anticipate too much about this move. Que sera sera. In the end, I'm incredibly excited to have two of the men I care about in the same house with me. I know it's going to be awkward at first, and it's going to take lots of adjusting, but the best I can hope for is that we'll be able to work through it.

The whole thing is going to be very interesting because as soon as Frisbee moves in I'm going to be going out of the country to visit the German for two weeks.

Have I mentioned how ecstatic that makes me?

Lots of interesting relationship developments, dear readers. Lots of impending updates on how all of this goes...a must.

Stick 'em with the pointy end

Because who doesn't like a Game of Thrones reference for an entry that's really going to be all about dicks?

Ah, Renly. I know your house sigil is the stag, but seriously you might as well be wearing one of those bachelorette crowns that has little pastel penises on it.

So, yes. Actual topic.

I went to a rather pleasant play party this past Saturday. Hosted by podcast guy and involving 17 or so other very sexy people. I got an opportunity at the party to have sex with a gentleman I've been crushing on since meeting him at a UFC get-together thing I went to with podcast guy. Aforementioned gentleman turned out to have a dick that literally bent back up to his belly button. Of all the dicks I've encountered in my travels, this is the first one I've seen with that particular bend. It was...incredible. Especially when I was on top.

I bring this up because of course I don't want to just tell you what a fantastically sexy evening I had riding a new cute guy, but also because I want to discuss theory!

I've also recently finished What Women Want by David Bergner. In which "parental investment theory" gets brought up briefly. tl;dr on parental investment theory: women hold out sex because it takes a lot of work to raise babies, and they want to make sure they've got a mate who will stay with them through that process before they're willing to "invest" in a sexual relationship. Conversely, men want to pass on their genes and so are looking for any and every available vagina in which to pump their seed. Bergner's not a fan of the theory, and presents some really good "correlation not equaling causation" information to dispute it. The rest of the book is also fairly interesting, if you're looking for something to read.

Parental investment theory got me thinking about all the speculation behind why the human male's penis is shaped the way it is. (There's bits about this in Sex at Dawn, also in the aptly named Why Is The Penis Shaped Like That?) tl;dr on dick shape: human males evolved this "plunger" shaped dick because, if the woman the guy's having sex with has also previously had sex with some other dude, the shape of the penis will help "plunge" the other dude's sperm out of the vagina. Thus, second dude's sperm gets a better chance at finding the egg. Bada-bing, bada-boom, better chance of passing on those genes, second dude.

They're not entirely related, but they belong together under the umbrella that is sexuality research. This is why I love reading about and learning about sex. Parental investment theory falls apart if you consider things like the availability of birth control. The whole penis shaped thing is fascinating, because it seems like an almost freak evolutionary adaptation that somehow's worked out for humans. Bergner's got some really interesting ideas about how the great majority of sex studies are inherently flawed because they take place in clinical research settings, and not in naturally occurring circumstances. Also that human beings are the only species able to completely misinterpret and misrepresent their own libidos, so even questionnaire based studies are highly suspect.

At the end of the day, having sex is pretty awesome. Learning lots about sex? Also very awesome. Keep it real, nerds.

The internet is for...

For those unacquainted with Avenue Q, I'll give you a brief respite here at the beginning to go check it out. You don't have to watch the entire thing before coming back to this entry, but you should at least listen to the song I'm referencing in the title. Here, I'll even do the work for you.

Then you should also check out, "Everybody's a Little Bit Racist," and "If You Were Gay," because both of those songs are hilarious too. Although not relevant to this blog entry, so just put them on your queue for later.

I was celebrating 420 this past Sunday, and as I tend to do once I have hoovered all the snacks, I was browsing porn to do some bean flicking.

Did you know that on PornHub alone there are 60 different categories of videos you can watch? (Go ahead, check my math. I'll wait.) I find that absolutely fascinating. There's a lot of discussion out there about porn. I'd put myself, on the spectrum of "anti-porn" to "pro-porn" somewhere on the pro side. Is it demeaning to women? Sometimes. Does it set unrealistic ideals when it comes to sex? Yes. My three biggest complaints (everything of course having to come in threes, you know): The frequency and utter fakery that are women's orgasms in the majority of porn, the fact that there's rarely "set-up" shown for a scene (use of lube for anal being a big one), and the lack of condoms. That last one I could sort of argue for and against, but at the end of everything I think making condoms a "norm" for sexual activity isn't a terrible idea at all.

However, those critiques notwithstanding, I think overall it's fucking fantastic to have such a gigantic variety of porn available. Know exactly what you're looking for? You can find it somewhere. Not really sure what you're into? Click around in the categories and find something that gets your gears turning. That's a positive for me that people can experiment and find things. Sure, it's maybe not the most realistic portrayal of what that given sexual activity will actually be like, but it's at least out there to find. I only hold out hope that people go past some 3 minute clip online (don't lie, even if the video's 10 minutes you're only really watching 3 minutes of it) to actually learn and communicate about said sexual activity. That's where the actual fun starts.

32 flavors and then some

I got a very odd compliment this evening at the gang bang party. One of the gentlemen told me, "you handle a dick like you have one."

For the past three months, I've been working "on staff" at the parties instead of actually participating (i.e. fucking) at them. I've realized a few things. Mostly that I am complete shit at being a voyeur. I can only watch other people have sex for about...3 minutes before I start busting out in laughter and need to leave. I don't know what it is exactly, but something about the way people's bodies move, the type of faces they make...it's just hilarious to watch. It doesn't really turn me on in the slightest. However, hearing other people have sex is totally hot and awesome for me. Go fig.

I've also realized the complete and utter variability of human sex. I understood this a bit when I was participating at the parties. With thirty guys, there was a lot of variance in cock size, general stamina, etc. I understood variability also because I like talking with people about sex in general. I like asking questions about preferences and kinks. Everybody is different, and it's fascinating. With being an observer at the parties, I get to see exactly how different every person is when it comes to sex. The way they orgasm, the faces they make while they're fucking, the motions their bodies go through.

With so much available in one concentrated place like the gang bang, I get an interesting cross-section of what people are into. And the reassuring thing is that there's something out there for everybody. I say "something" instead of "someone" because fuck the noise about one true love. But it's possible to find at least one person in this world who will be into that thing you like. There was a woman at the party tonight who was a pretty significant squirter (gusher would be a more appropriate term), and for every guy who made an "ick" face when it happened, there was another guy who was grinning ear to ear. The parties have consistently reinforced for me how incredibly amazing it is to stay open to possibilities.