Relevant story: I was playing Clue with Frisbee and some of the other frisbee folks this past weekend. I never realized that, according to the official rules, when you make a guess you have to not only be in the room you're guessing, but also move the weapon and person you're guessing into the room with you. Let's say you're playing as Professor Plum and about to go into the Library to make your own guess, and then Mr. Green pulls you into the Hall to accuse you of murder. Then you're stuck trying to make it all the way back to the Library (unless Green gives something away with his guess and you don't want to go to the Library anymore). It's sort of an interesting sabotage move. Also, I guess it's a thing with the frisbee folk (not in the official rules) to sometimes guess cards you have in your own hand? I'd never played that way before, either. That was fucking confusing.
In any case, this is sort of a neat analogy about how game rules relate to polyamory. The author uses Monopoly, not Clue. Side note: I dislike Monopoly as a board game. But sometimes I would make the little characters from the Monopoly board fight gang wars with themselves using the weapons from Clue. That was fun.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Past perfect
Switched at Birth madness!
First of all, Daphne and Jace - if you're going to be Facetiming about your secret plans to take down the senator, do you think maybe this would be a good time to use only ASL? Why are you speaking and signing at the same time? This seems like a fucking perfect way to get caught. Everybody in the fucking office and at the spa can hear you talking about your secret plan.
Secondly: The scene where Bay and Emmett are watching a movie they made. "Night of the Living Deaf." No, it's not that type of movie. It's like a zombie flick they did in ASL together. They were dating when they made the movie. That's important, I guess. Anyway. So Bay and Emmett are watching the movie together and there's a scene where they kiss. And oh man wouldn't you know it but Bay's current boyfriend walks in just as they are watching that scene.
And like a totally normal boyfriend, he gets totally jealous because the person who's kissing him now used to kiss other people, and that is totally fucking unacceptable. It also makes it worse because Bay is still sort of friends with Emmett instead of hating his guts and refusing to hang out with him like a totally normal ex-girlfriend would. Imagine that, right?
First of all, Daphne and Jace - if you're going to be Facetiming about your secret plans to take down the senator, do you think maybe this would be a good time to use only ASL? Why are you speaking and signing at the same time? This seems like a fucking perfect way to get caught. Everybody in the fucking office and at the spa can hear you talking about your secret plan.
Secondly: The scene where Bay and Emmett are watching a movie they made. "Night of the Living Deaf." No, it's not that type of movie. It's like a zombie flick they did in ASL together. They were dating when they made the movie. That's important, I guess. Anyway. So Bay and Emmett are watching the movie together and there's a scene where they kiss. And oh man wouldn't you know it but Bay's current boyfriend walks in just as they are watching that scene.
And like a totally normal boyfriend, he gets totally jealous because the person who's kissing him now used to kiss other people, and that is totally fucking unacceptable. It also makes it worse because Bay is still sort of friends with Emmett instead of hating his guts and refusing to hang out with him like a totally normal ex-girlfriend would. Imagine that, right?
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Time Tested
In good news, James Deen has an interview in September's Glamour which, although only one page long, is very good. He's an eloquent motherfucker, that's for sure.
In not so good news, I was late for work today. A coworker had asked me to cover her shift, and I forgot to write it down on the calendar at home. Thus, about an hour of the shift was missed. For all intents and purposes, not a great thing, but also not a completely unforgivable thing either.
At the end of everything, I gave myself points for not falling apart into a total wreck about making a mistake. I didn't feel good about missing part of the shift, but I didn't completely shut down emotionally, either. I was angry with myself, but only for about an hour or so. I didn't spend an entire day inside my head telling myself I'm not good at anything because of this. It's something therapy lady and I talked a lot about. Not stopping how I react to things completely, but trying to lessen the amount of time I spend reacting to things and the severity with which I react to things.
Sometimes I can't keep my shit together when everything is perfectly fine and awesome. So being able to keep it together when something not so awesome happens is a good feels.
In not so good news, I was late for work today. A coworker had asked me to cover her shift, and I forgot to write it down on the calendar at home. Thus, about an hour of the shift was missed. For all intents and purposes, not a great thing, but also not a completely unforgivable thing either.
At the end of everything, I gave myself points for not falling apart into a total wreck about making a mistake. I didn't feel good about missing part of the shift, but I didn't completely shut down emotionally, either. I was angry with myself, but only for about an hour or so. I didn't spend an entire day inside my head telling myself I'm not good at anything because of this. It's something therapy lady and I talked a lot about. Not stopping how I react to things completely, but trying to lessen the amount of time I spend reacting to things and the severity with which I react to things.
Sometimes I can't keep my shit together when everything is perfectly fine and awesome. So being able to keep it together when something not so awesome happens is a good feels.
Saturday, August 3, 2013
The one where I watch The Canyons
Last night I noticed on tumblr that The Canyons was available to rent online in a couple different places. I'd been interested in seeing it because:
1. This guy was in it:
2. Bret Easton Ellis. Like him as a writer. Not particularly crazy about the movies so far, but they're not so abysmally terrible that I'd actively avoid one.
For those of you who are interested, the imdb summary is actually pretty much the entire plot. Now-hubby says I'm being "generous" by saying it wasn't terrible. The way I look at it, if you're even vaguely interested, there are worse ways to waste an hour and a half of your life. Here's the main takeaways.
1. James Deen can not act. Or walk like a normal person. There's a really subtle line between actors who are playing their characters and actors who actually are their characters. I had actually fairly high hopes that James Deen would transcend that line even though his main motivation for acting so far has been, "and then you're going to nail this chick until her eyes cross." Ah, well. He tried.
Also, maybe I was just over-analyzing everything, but he sort of walks like he has no idea how walking works.
2. Lindsay Lohan has not aged well. As Now-hubby pointed out several times during the movie, she's 5 years younger than he or I. I feel like the make-up people didn't have any particular motive to make her look as bad as she does, that's just the way things are now. Sadness.
3. Bret Easton Ellis has some fucked-up shit to say about relationships and sex. This one is actually not a bad point. American Pyscho had one part in particular that made my vagina almost completely close up with fear and also almost made me throw up. (It's in the book, not the movie. I'll just say three words: rat, brie, vagina. shudders) Rules of Attraction was pretty non-standard as far as the relationships that happened there. And The Canyons is rife with stuff that's just sort of like, "daaang." I like that.
1. This guy was in it:
2. Bret Easton Ellis. Like him as a writer. Not particularly crazy about the movies so far, but they're not so abysmally terrible that I'd actively avoid one.
For those of you who are interested, the imdb summary is actually pretty much the entire plot. Now-hubby says I'm being "generous" by saying it wasn't terrible. The way I look at it, if you're even vaguely interested, there are worse ways to waste an hour and a half of your life. Here's the main takeaways.
1. James Deen can not act. Or walk like a normal person. There's a really subtle line between actors who are playing their characters and actors who actually are their characters. I had actually fairly high hopes that James Deen would transcend that line even though his main motivation for acting so far has been, "and then you're going to nail this chick until her eyes cross." Ah, well. He tried.
Also, maybe I was just over-analyzing everything, but he sort of walks like he has no idea how walking works.
2. Lindsay Lohan has not aged well. As Now-hubby pointed out several times during the movie, she's 5 years younger than he or I. I feel like the make-up people didn't have any particular motive to make her look as bad as she does, that's just the way things are now. Sadness.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Circle
Today's, "Hey, you thought you were living your life as a successful adult well hey remember this?" crippling moment of self-reflection came about because of Stay Together for the Kids coming on the radio.
I dislike talking about my parents and my past, because it can sometimes feel like I'm pointing to one specific moment and saying, "see? This is why I have problems. This specific moment in time." I want to be clear that's not the case. It's more a shit pile of stuff that's sort of always teetering around me. I've got a pretty good fence built up around it, and have slowly started shoveling out the shit until maybe I could make something useful out of the plot within the fence. But as I'm working, every now and then, something will come tumbling off the pile and fall at my feet and completely ruin my ability to think in a functional manner. This can happen when I'm not even in a bad mood to begin with.
That's what happened today. I was on my way to work after having a completely fantastic time with a fuck-friend of mine. This song came on the radio, and I spent the next 20 minutes inside my own head trying to get myself back together.
The story behind it: the time I went with my mother for freshman orientation stuff at the University I was going to attend. Things had fallen apart pretty hard the year before - a whole lot of things had come to a head and had wound up with me getting pulled down a flight of stairs and then limping halfway to work after getting the awesome bombshell drop that something I thought was shitty was entire levels of shitty I hadn't even considered. We never talked about any of it, and things just kept spiraling. I was getting out, and this was maybe one of the last times I'd ever be alone with my mother again. I played this song specifically during the road trip. I prefaced it with something like, "this song makes me think about home." In my head, I thought, "everything sucks and I wish I didn't have to run away from it as the only way for it to get better. Talk to me."
Absolutely. Nothing. She mentioned something about how fast I was driving the car, and I took the CD out and put something else in.
So today this song came on the radio and I thought about that road trip. And I thought about what it felt like to be so completely shut down when I was trying to express something emotionally. And then I thought about how people around me now will ask me if I want to talk about what's bothering me, and how it makes me so angry that I can't. How it's all completely internal; the idea that I somehow shouldn't have a problem, because nobody wants to hear about it anyway.
I dislike talking about my parents and my past, because it can sometimes feel like I'm pointing to one specific moment and saying, "see? This is why I have problems. This specific moment in time." I want to be clear that's not the case. It's more a shit pile of stuff that's sort of always teetering around me. I've got a pretty good fence built up around it, and have slowly started shoveling out the shit until maybe I could make something useful out of the plot within the fence. But as I'm working, every now and then, something will come tumbling off the pile and fall at my feet and completely ruin my ability to think in a functional manner. This can happen when I'm not even in a bad mood to begin with.
That's what happened today. I was on my way to work after having a completely fantastic time with a fuck-friend of mine. This song came on the radio, and I spent the next 20 minutes inside my own head trying to get myself back together.
The story behind it: the time I went with my mother for freshman orientation stuff at the University I was going to attend. Things had fallen apart pretty hard the year before - a whole lot of things had come to a head and had wound up with me getting pulled down a flight of stairs and then limping halfway to work after getting the awesome bombshell drop that something I thought was shitty was entire levels of shitty I hadn't even considered. We never talked about any of it, and things just kept spiraling. I was getting out, and this was maybe one of the last times I'd ever be alone with my mother again. I played this song specifically during the road trip. I prefaced it with something like, "this song makes me think about home." In my head, I thought, "everything sucks and I wish I didn't have to run away from it as the only way for it to get better. Talk to me."
Absolutely. Nothing. She mentioned something about how fast I was driving the car, and I took the CD out and put something else in.
So today this song came on the radio and I thought about that road trip. And I thought about what it felt like to be so completely shut down when I was trying to express something emotionally. And then I thought about how people around me now will ask me if I want to talk about what's bothering me, and how it makes me so angry that I can't. How it's all completely internal; the idea that I somehow shouldn't have a problem, because nobody wants to hear about it anyway.
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